A SOFT CRITICISM and LETTER TO 8:11

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This page is a letter dedicated to 8:11. Heavy spoilers ahead!

CHARACTEERS & TOPICS TALKED ABOUT‼️‼️

• Ryker's relationship with religion, Vittorino, and Leon
• SUSAN! And a lot about her role in 811
• Chapter two spoilers
• My terrible work schedule
• Being mentally ill
• Christiantity and my rants about it

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Hello there!

I first attempted this[a letter to 811] with a commentary video......until my computer ran out of storage!! 😑➡️🙄 And daaaaamn it, editing videos takes forever! (Especially for a guy who can't seem to accomplish shit recently.) So here's a letter written to 8:11, Ryker, and the overall game from its creator.

To get right into it, I've been wanting to talk about 811 and its future for a long time. On and off I've stated I'll work on chapter two. Maybe you've even seen THIS secretive Ryker image from my patreon?

I know I'm a frustrating, wishy-washy guy; and have talked on and on about how I will finish 811! To not completing it! Back again with another attempt-!!! Annnnnnd then quitting again. WTF DUDE!!!!! Pick a struggle; I tell myself!! Hhahaha. This cycle must be frustrating for the audiences wanting chapter two. Understandable. I'm upset too! I love Ryker and their journey! All of my rage about my past experiences gets to be vented out and formed into a cast of gothic-styled characters.

I don't mean to trap my audience, or myself, in a loop of fake hope. I have tried numerous ways to work on chapter two....Then chapter one again. Or make anther chapter 1 with just the best of ch2 thrown into ch1: After all kinks are worked out. Even just another overly-same replica of chapter one with major graphic and script rehauls. I LOVE 811 more than anybody; obviously.! Hahahah. But sometimes fuck 811🙄➡️😑 yknow? I'll get more into it later; but the attempt at incorporating numerous spiritual beliefs; only for christianity to shine is disgusting. And sometimes feels like an insult to myself; because i do NOT support the church in ANY shape or way. Fuck, I'm not even goth anymore 😂 So a large part of 811 feels foreign to me; because I am no longer goth or attracted to those old past aesthetics and such.

I'm actually a little fucked up and deranged; its wrong ik, ik. 🙄 but i dont support christianity in ANY way; ive really matured and rightfully hate it inside and out. I loathe and groan whenever I watch tv, or play a game, or read a PASSAGE about another reference to jesus christ and his beautiful BLUE eyes, or a comment about SINS and MORALS; I just want to flipping RAGEEEE!!!!!! A stupid ass fictional book is putting a say onto my life; even if I don't follow it! And maybe I tried to show that part in 811 or not, but ultimately as a a WOKE person; it just generally feels wrong af to work and continue to forever promote that with my name. BEEeeeeecaaaaauuuuseeee.................!!!!!!

I ALSO love my four other projects I'm juggling right now. I don't want to be known ONLY for 811, and my OCD brain is pacing around going "i can tweak that 811 cutscene" to "fuck 811, its finished. now I can focus on yume nikko!" and then "well mortis game needs more time to develop, so I should stick to what I know best and work on 811".

And no matter how many times I rewrite the 811 ending in my head, or make Susan a protagonist alongside Ryker, or find comfort in how sweet Leon is; I crawl back and forth. I miss 811; but end up avoiding a lot of it. Or avoiding my least favorite parts of it. Because I accidentally poured too much of my real life circumstances, anger, and trauma into it. More on that later!

Sometimes, life really sucks. But I still want to create art at the end of the day. And my hands yearn to draw; and they yearn to draw things I don't have to see repeated in every corner of my life. I'm exhausted of blonde angels, demons, the concept of cloudy heaven and brimstone-burning hell, of sin and atonement. I cringe at references to adam and eve, the apple, etc. There's SO MUCH MORE out in this world to see and experience; and I'm tired of the nonstop Christianity references. I think THATS another reason I wish i could rewrite and fix with 811; its meant to be ambiguous; but its shoehorned so much Catholicism into it; with no extra thoughts on other cultures of beliefs. And I desperately want the final outcome/look of the game was to be more representative of other cultures, but i really beefed it and have TONS more fun incorporating those ideas into my OTHER projects!!!!!! There's so much I wish i could edit outside of the aesthetics and visual arts.

An original soundtrack? Hell yes. Wait, maybe we could even mimic DDR dancing? Naaaaah. That's a looottta work and money for a team! I wish I could go back and change a lot of the story. 811 is too heavily TELLING, SPELLING OUT, and EXPLAINING every little annoying detail.. (while trying to be mysterious🙄).... when I think my old cringey storyboard stuff in the beginning 811s shined a lot for those great reasons.

All I can ever think about is "I HAVE to make this project 200000% perfect in order to attach my name to it"

Leon is of African descent!!!! Always has been!!!! But then my inner minds churn and I'm just flabberghasted I made an African-mixed man participant in a religion that WAS and IS used to mock his people and culture.

I've wanted to incorporate A LOT of old religions too. Ancient Egyptian religion , and admittably even some (American) tribal beliefs. But those are contradicting the christianity (for better or worse); and it feels WRONG to have those next to large neon cross signs. It feels senseless, rude, and against my own moral codings. Even though some of these still bled into the first chapter; like Beetle's moccasins and overly Native-design; sometimes it just feels SURREAL to have them included with, again, a game that is overly christian (and doesn't really get to take stabs at christianity; like I'd want now). Like, WHY get excited AND hurt thinking I could put sprinkle Egyptian mythology in, when I can save that for other projects!!!

It can be taxing to work on 811 for many personal aspects. If you don't want to hear about how fucked in the head the creator is, theeeeeeennnn turn this shit off. Don't let the bitching persuade you! Because I get nostalgic for 811 and its themes! Even the aesthetics I don't care for anymore; like gothic architectures, and stained glass windows. .....And c'mon. Armor, especially the cute pointy knight hats are cute....Never got to give a character a sword either!

Characters and a sprinkle of love ✨

I'll get more into my reasonings for my displeasures in 811 later, but I do miss my precious gothic little one! 811 has specific, catered needs that meet its aesthetics and story telling that aren't present in my other works. I miss offputting and adorkable Beetle! Emotional hellbent Ryker! Fuck, dude, I miss Ryker so much. Sometimes I'm hyped for 811, and my fond memories of fun moments like scary Leon surgery, Accardi cannibalism, the catacombs, and a living building! A living creature in the shape of a cathedral that protects Vittorino inside her belly; and creates her own angel💖!!!!!! Her (angel) code name has been Azar for super long; but I've always wanted to file it down to Owl; just to fit Beetle's name. Teehee. 🦉 Otherwise, the Cathedral is just referred by another name with Vittorino and some priests.

Owl and the cathedral; Both are Vittorino's the moms that stepped UP, in a sense. Whether he is aware of both of them right now in the timeline! Hahahah. But seriously, no, Owl is NOT related to Vittorino in any way. Or sees herself as a parent, and Vittorino as her daughter. She seems Vittorino as a scared prey animal, something somewhat beneath her (as all angels do in this world with humans); but wishes to provide Vittorino safety and love. Because the church hurt him; the building and its members; so despite the love the church had for the mischevious blonde: ultimately Owl has more sympathy for Vivi.

AND OWL IS NOT VITTORINOS MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just wrong word choice mixed with edibles!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The CATHEDRAL is his momma, but the angel IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I UNDERSTAND I had a poor choice of words the first run of this blog. I understand implying that Vittorino had sex with his mother was possible; and that's terrifying. BUT FORBID I MESS UP!!!!! Owl is NOT his mom in any blood, metaphorical, or symbolic sense. She is his guardian angel, and he fucks her because Ryker and Beetle never have canon sex. SUE ME FOR MESSING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:11 has ALWAYS been a fetish game 🔞

It's an 18+ game!!!!!!!! THe original drafts had Ryker fucking EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!! The game YALL know has had important sex scenes talked about before; like the planned RykerxAccardi sex scene that was supposed to heal all of Ryker's wounds; because gay sex is LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO NOT DRAW GORE PORN EITHER!!!!!!!!! Despite what you may think.

CAREFUL!!!!!!! Topics such as incest brought up below!!!!!

I love Ryker and Leon a lot, and it makes me genuinely so sad knowing that I can't always work with them. One (humorous) occurrence I've noticed is that all friends who have played 811, within the first few moments, assumed Ryker and Leon had a age gap relationship. I always laughed it off, and then seeing the fandom react so harshly to any shippers of that pairing is so jarring. Because they could be shipping worse in the 811 sphere, I dread to imagine, hahaha^^; I've truthfully never cared if people wanted to ship Ryker and Leon; I guess because I know Ryker sees Leon as a friend and the "dad" thing is just a way they admire Leon. Their relationship is just as heavy and comforting AND on the same scale of importance (to Ryker) as a familial one is; if that makes sense? Found family/friends. Anyways, I don't care to discuss this further because in the end........IDC!!!!!!!! People ask me for ethical 811 ships and jerk off OTPs basically. It's weird when people ask; and they always do, for Leon and DAnte. And the answer? Nooooooooopeeeeee. But also stop asking me if you can ethically goon to a ship, I don't care as long as its not p*do or inc*st in anyway!!!!!!! Yucky!!!!!

Like...... if yall are scared by ryker and leon.........erm0_. you will not survive the dante and leon wars hahahah. sorry to break it to yall.

None of that matters when the canon is that Ryker and Accardi have AWESOME GAY SEX!!!!! I wish overall the series was a bigger dive into fetishes and kinks. Not even trying to sound lame with "gee, wish my game was HORNIER" and just add some boobs and boners. I want things dialed the fuck up; leather nun uniforms, pissed pants Ryker after the tooth Vittorino scene, SPANKED MEN!!!! Not only is sexualizing men in priest uniforms hot af, BUT seeing them crumble for their desires and needs is sooooooo smexy💖💖💖 Over on Patreon, and my socials, I showed a sketchy comic strip of Accardi and Juliek breaking up (from chapter 1) BUT if they were having sex during it.

A lot of my future works just might be fitted with leather chest harnesses, masks, safewords, and tender aftercare if I see it applicable. Especially since I've always imagined Ryker is secretly into leather, but super uneducated on how kinky sex works, and needs some guidance from Accardi 🤩

.....Or how I wish I could get into the planned chapter 2; Vittorino x angel Owl sex scene.

........or how I wish I could have fun with 811's chapter(s) and explore more of how Susan took on more of a protagonist role later. Yaoi MAKES 811; but also destroys it. ya hear me? It's so tragic with what happens to susan... and i really bluffed it all

Susan is a great character, and would need chapter 1 rewritten in areas to fit all these awesome moments with her;

• she finds a random, abandoned fetus in the catacombs. That baby's name? Amalia
• LOVES JULIEK AND VITTORINO SO MUCH!!!!. Loves them equally; but knew that Vittorino essentially worshipped and adored her
• genderfluid! Or was okay with being called Ken and rarely used male pronouns
• was SO suspicious of Leon and didn't really like him. Is an outsider voice of reason for Ryker

And Owl?

• arguably more attached to her human than beetle is/was

waaaaaaaaaait. What about Accardi?

• arguably more attached to her human than beetle is/was

Thanks for reading so far, if anyone is. I promise it's not always gloomy in the Dubuk head whenever 811 is on the mind! Just.... a good 50/50 hahaha. I DO love 811 a lot. So desperately I still want to redo the first chapter and maybe squeeze chapter 2 content into the first game to make ONE SOLID 811. I like to believe I'll get there; to a point that I can work on the game again with a smile. Even if it's far into the future.

which BRINGS us to the next subject. No funny jokes here. Trigger warning for a discussion with homophobia, transphobia, indigenous racism. Read more ... I've had to deal with homophobic and transphobic shit all my life. Especially from the areas of religion, the area I grew up in, etc. It was difficult growing up and being told I was wrong for who I was; and that christanity would save me. People spoke as if I NEEDed to change and fit their mold. Pairing 811 with religion was a strange concept to me in hindsight; but I was extremely goth and fascinated with cathedrals; despite the hate that could grow within those walls. Maybe I'm still obsessed with them, deep down. I'm also mostly bringing up Christianity here; even though 811 takes homage from other religions; but the overwhelming feeling and references are that of Christianity and Catholicism. And yes, there's good Christians, other beliefs that prohibit lgbtq freedoms, and there's also good people within those groups too. IM just speaking from MY experiences. And that it's difficult to want to jump into a story that pains in so many ways. I've seen crazy shit in my life, and when i saw my father die; it manifested a lot of dark feelings in me. Ryker is so similar to me, but in a way, it's painful to see them so content being religious and desperately wanting to hold onto that hope and joy it once gave them. I want to shake their shoulders and tell Ryker holy FUCk. youre mixed, gay, transgender, WHY doesn't this hurt you the same way leon's death does!? But Ryker never responds to me. And i wish i could understand why Leon, or vittorino stuck around with their beliefs too. And just when I'm healed, get complimented for my work in therapy regarding my trauma and pains of being gay in an overly surveillanced state; there's chunky salt rubbed into my wounds. Another reason I’ve been neglecting 811 is because) …I’ve been growing closer to my indigenous culture and personhood. The history of Christianity has been aggressively forced upon my people. It's just a fictional world, I tell myself. But the pain of seeing this religion used to hurt, downplay its injustices, and create laws against my identity and people; past and present; why It’s too painful to work on the game trying to blissfully ignore those things. Fans are free to headcanon Ryker as indigenous. Or mixed. I love it, but I cannot personally bring myself to make that canon unless I rewrote 811 to be more grounded, and show off more horror; that religion can eat more at your identity than what we've seen with Vittorino. Ryker and Leon would be different. Flipped upside down. Vittorino has ambiguous gender and mental stuff going on; but finds comfort in himself? Vittorino loves himself; but Ryker doesn't love themself(which I think I might've failed to show in the game?) Ryker and Leon are different for other reasons; but they are darker skinned and the horror would potentially be about how their identities are fragmented pieces that find acceptable to show the public. I'd love to show the horror of someone trying to navigate their beliefs and how it's hurt people like them; and maybe themselves in the same way. But it's impossible for me to do it alone. And sometimes.......I'm glad 811 shys away from homophobia, or colonization; because for a brief moment *I* want to be selfish and forget those things happen. I want my suffering, or my communities' suffering; to be numbed out and I'm blissfully unaware of them for a few hours. To run away and forget the pain. But then i open the engines and just sit at my desk. I can't do anything but feel guilt. And shame, annoyance at myself, anger at my trauma and life circumstances, and then i feel violently angry. I want to throw up on my computer's keyboard, punch the monitor; and forget all things 811.